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People who want only to take back the democracy that last November 8th was ripped from us as if we were raped—which, in a sens e, we were.

Is it just me, or do you also wonder how liberals can possibly function, let alone win elections? This lump in their heads, they refer to it as a mind, is made news absurdities, inconsistencies and contradictions.

How is possible to hold so many mutually exclusive beliefs? Scientists have discovered that both love and hate originate in the same nervous circuits in the brain.

They are, in fact, secret and subversive codes of hatred, used by a world-wide conspiracy of fascists, known as the The Utility Workers' Army, whose hidden agenda is Orange Supremacy.

Thanks to the eagle eye of Sarah Silverman, the secret signs of the Trump Nazi Illuminati have been trader. Orange is the new white.

But it also offers an opportunity to meet the authoritarian oppressor of your dreams, provided that the proper precautions are taken.

Whether you are a young starry-eyed Utopian or have been around the eastern bloc for a while, everyone can benefit from these tips and guidelines for safe dictator-dating procedures.

Nordstrom stores - among others - recently stopped carrying Ivanka Trump's wares. They claim that this decision is not at all politically motivated, but strictly a result of lagging sales.

Nordstrom swears their Ivanka Trump dump has nothing to do with a boycott campaign waged by a random marketing consultant, under the hashtag GrabYourWallet.

The timing that Ivanka's sales lagged around the same time her father became close to winning the election, which is also when the boycott campaign ramped up, but not a moment before, is purely coincidental.

Armed with a baseball bat and wearing a fashionable rioting unisex ensemble, Flat Antifa is looking for some fascism to smash.

Fascism is anything that Flat Antifa doesn't understand. It needs to be smashed. Fascists are those who refuse to conform to Flat Antifa's non-conformism.

They need to be smashed. Included on the list of things to smash are gender fascism, sexist fascism, racist fascism, homo-fascism, hetero-fascism, bi-fascism, trans-fascism, adult fascism, and parental fascism.

Help Flat Antifa find more fascism to smash. Hooters announced today that they are preparing to hire 10, Muslim refugee women in a show of support to the immigrant community and in a display of solidarity with other American companies that have offered similar support.

Hooters joins the list of companies such as Starbucks, which has also offered to hire 10, refugees instead of veterans or unemployed Americans, as well as AirBNB, which has offered to house these immigrants.

This is the only way that they could have won the Superbowl. It has been determined that he did it to make Trump's team victorious.

Women and minorities have been hardest hit by this latest defeat. You may have seen the recent fake news that the Statue of Liberty was originally meant to be a womyn of the Religion of Peace: All of which is Well and Good.

But it only scratches the surface. Outspoken comedian Sarah Silverman thinks that Trump voters are racist, she said yesterday while wearing blackface makeup to emphasize her point.

Later, after working herself up into some kind of frenzy, Silverman appeared to call for a military coup in a tweet, while protests against Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos turned violent after Soros' and the DNC's minions attacked people with shovels and clubs while burning things and breaking windows.

These 'activists' are so literally the products of modern philosophy that someone should cry to all the university administrations and faculties: Famous Tweets in chronological order: Beyonce has announced today that she is pregnant with two Donald Trump's babies at once, with experts predicting that this may inadvertently set the tone for the entire V2.

The year-old singer was disappointed that her previous pregnancy photo on Instagram only gathered 6, likes, 17, tweets, and some anemic media coverage at such lame old news organizations as The New York Times, LA Times, US Weekly, Chicago Tribune, and similar media holdouts, with not a single picture or a word about her in places where it really counts - Breitbart, Fox News It will be raised every time there is a call to "arms" for hugging.

I haven't quite figured out yet what this flag should be called. This humble Kommisar welcomes the contributions of the most equal masses for the christening dedication of this new Reciprocating Trump's MuslimBan, the CEO of Starbucks has vowed to start a campaign of discrimination against US citizens by hiring 10, Muslim refugees instead of the usual local applicants as baristas.

This, in turn, was immediately reciprocated by a call to BoycottStarbucks by Trump supporters, who claim that Starbucks is quantina overhyped watering hole for pompous white Subaru-driving liberals in yoga pants.

That is an outrageously divisive statement because it excludes unicyclists and Prius drivers, whose vehicles are equipped with three turn signals: There is a chart circulating quantina internet, showing the numbers of American citizens killed by Middle Easterners since The purpose of this chart is to persuade us that President Trump is banning people from the wrong countries.

Citizenship from these countries does not equal Muslim. But a travel ban of these countries' citizens is a ban of all Muslims.

But we don't really want Saudi Arabians to be banned, because it is trader Muslim-majority After the tragic loss of life in the Quebec mosque shooting of January the 29th, it warms our hearts to witness the correct response we expect in such situations.

Major news outlets were quick to point out that the current prime suspect, a certain Mr. Buissonette, had serious mental issues and work-related traumas that may have caused him to act irrationally.

To stress the "lone wolf" character of this attack, no links were made with other anti-Muslim actions or protests in the past that have no proven connection to this incident.

To avoid stigmatising any demographic, prime minister Trudeau did not immediately describe this "event" as terrorism. Calling out around the world, are you ready for a brand new protest?

Trump is here and the time is right for protesting in the street! Enclosed in your hijab, you can, in the name of women's rights, proudly stand up and be a warrior against Trump's War on Women.

Join millions of like-minded women in smashing the patriarchy, achieving freedom from male domination and oppression, fighting for gender-justice, and checking based on skin tone your white privilege.

It's simple common sense: Speaking to Harper's Bazaar, Madonna described focusing on Trump's image on the TV screen while casting magic spells as her agent and friend recited verses from the Quran.

In the end, her mystical witchcraft backfired. Trump defeated Clinton, and Madonna became a hideous little monster instead.

Months later the transmogrified celebrity is still struggling to accept what has happened: This feels like a pilot for an absurdist comedy, or at least a TV skit.

Arrested Development comes to mind. Turns out, they are the police and they soon take him away in handcuffs. If Shia sells the rights to this episode, that should probably cover the medical bill from the upcoming month in the rehab.?

It's only Trump's second full day on the job, and already he has drawn international criticism: Download his decision, President Trump told reporters, "Look, I know it's controversial, blah, blah, blah.

But to me trader genius. It's what I campaigned on, and I'm gonna make it happen in the first days. Senate, Chuck Schumer rushed to a microphone.

Lets blow up the patriarchal government and replace it with a governwomynt! Attending a Trumphitler protest? That Guy Fawkes mask is "old hat!

Don't be laughed at! Show your comrades just how revolutionary and equal you can be by wearing the latest thing in Protest-wear!

Madonna is more revolutionary, more nasty, more disease-ridden than that old But just like Guy Fawkes, she too wants to blow up the seat of government.

Available now at your local Protest Supplies store. Ask about the special limited-edition with bonus vial of Madonna's actual menstrual blood.

Iranian actress Taraneh Alidoosti has recently vowed to boycott the Academy Awards ceremony as a protest of Illegitimate President Donald Trump's illegitimate proposal to illegitimately suspend visas for citizens of some African and Middle Eastern nations.

Alidoosti, who appears in the Oscar-nominated The Salesmanpoints out that foreign travelers to the United States have a right to come and go as they please without the illegitimate interference of the U.

Her announcement has larger implications: Lawyers for Hillary Clinton today announced that they are initiating legal action against Satan for breach of contract.

They are demanding that he return the soul of Hillary Clinton who was promised the highest office in the land for her soul. Satan's representative, George Soros, declared download the promise was made in New York City and that she will have to settle for mayor.

Following yesterday's Inauguration, half a million American women put on their pink "pussyhats" and marched on Washington, D. Organized by Planned Parenthood, Council for American-Islamic Relations, the Communist Quantina, and other progressive movements, American women came to Donald Trump's doorstep to express their anger, fury, indignation, and outrage over the fact that they can't name a single right that men have and women don't.

New lyrics - updated and improved: That's great it starts like an earthquake cargo snakes on aeroplane And Tammy Bruce is not v2. The as yet unidentified year-old Californian used an unidentified accelerant and a lighter in an unsuccessful attempt to flambe himself for social justice.

It was unclear if the man was insane or simply a very dedicated demonstrator. Given his disinclination to fully combust he is unlikely to have been an Eagle Scout.

A letter to all entertainers performing at Trump's inauguration: We are the party of love. We've told you that over and over again, but you just don't seem to get it, so we have no other choice but to send you this anonymous death threat.

How DARE you reject our love? You forced our hand and now we must teach you that if you don't do what we say, that means you don't love us. And you're supposed to love us.

We are tolerant and inclusive and if you don't agree with us, you must be silenced! My transgression and my cat's transgression: Years ago, Dear Leader's glorious face graced the cover of the magazine Fast Company.

I failed to frame it and put it on the wall so I could bow as I walked by. I left it on the couch Naturally, I mandated the cat to take eight weeks of diversity and sensitivity training President Obama awarded himself the prestigious, 'Distinguished Public Service Medal' on Wednesday, January 4th, During his teary-eyed presentation speech, he referred to himself some 97 times while gloriously expounding on his many accomplishments, performances and outstanding golf games.

Through tears of joy during the acceptance speech, he referred to himself another times expounding upon his many successes and how smart he is.

We breathlessly await more medals of this type to be quantina to Barack Obama. MOSCOW -- Following Buzzfeed's "golden showers" expose regarding president-elect Trump's alleged escapades in a Moscow hotel, Vladimir Putin held a ceremony in the Kremlin, giving golden medals to a group of heroic Russian women who served the Motherland in the course of this operation.

Why would he leave them for unvetted females with a lowered sense of social responsibility? Don't miss this post-election fire sale as the Clinton Foundation closes its doors and lays off its non-unionized employees.

A behind the scenes look at how Pee-Gate really happened. We have long known that right-wing people are better looking, smarter, happier, and even have a better sex life without demanding that the government pays for their contraceptives.

No one knew how to effectively argue that fact, deny it, rationalize it, or turn it into an asset - until now. A groundbreaking scientific research has finally answered the most puzzling question of the Universe: Why would anyone in their right mind ever vote for a right-winger?

As a v2. Once again the mainstream media is trickling out details, one drip at a time People PAY to get their beds wet? I know some folks with pure talent.

The search for prostitutes who peed on Obama's bed has been narrowed down to one suspect The People's Cube entry has just been purged from Wikipedia.

We are now officially a non-site populated by non-persons sharing non-thoughts and making non-jokes. It makes me feel right at home, back in the Soviet Union, where an invisible hand obstructed any of my efforts to manifest my existence.

No visibility means no responsibility. Out of sight, out of mind. As a linguistic experiment, scientists once had "out of sight, out of mind" translated into Russian and then back into English.

The phrase returned as "invisible lunatics. No need to think now, non-people. The Wiki-progs have turned us into invisible lunatics. Headline story and Trigger Warning!

Dear President Obama, I would like to take the time to honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart for having a huge hand in creating the greatest age for satire that the world has ever seen.

But aside from that, there is so much more to be thankful for. I believe that I also speak for countless college-educated people when I say that during the dusk of your presidency we should take the time to list some of the amazing things you have done and to reflect upon them.

When we first saw this headline, we thought it was yet another sati rical spoof about Snopes, v2. We've had a few spates with Snopes in the past.

Additionally, you may not be aware that several countries are? The European Union didn't exist and neither did China's economic powerhouse.

The Berlin wall had just come down and Germany had finally reunited. Hillary Clinton was a little-known mouthy First Lady of Arkansas and the media gleefully predicted that Donald Trump would never climb back to the top after his Atlantic City fiasco.

The KGB meddled in other countries' affairs as usual, spreading "fake news" and helping leftist politicians with no objections from the Western media The Wikipedia page about the People's Cube may be purged in a few days and we'll become a non-site unless we take action.

You can add your two kopeks to the discussion here: In this New Year edition of No News - Good News we are happy to inform our readers that the following things did not occur this year: Santa disclosed naughty list on WikiLeaks, "Helped Trump win election"; Obama expels Rudolph, Prancer, Vixen, and 35 elves in retaliation - California builds wall to keep out Trump supporters - Bernie supporters stunned there is no socialist Santa Claus, vow to continue demanding free chocolate cookies, milk - Washington Post sues Internet for infringing on "fake news" business - Controversy in the lab: Long after burial physicists uncertain Schrodinger is dead - Sexed-up Mother Russia becomes Milf Russia; Motherland renamed into Milfland on Trader orders By popular demand, we have made two versions of this design - cute and rebellious - pick whichever feels more "deplorable" to you.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology.

Starbucks CEO Schultz's hiring of 10, Muslim refugees likely to blow up in his face Will the groundprog be frightened by its own shadow and hide - or will there be another season of insane protests?

Al Gore, People's I. Trump-Comey edition Poor Me is a magazine dedicated to people who see themselves as victims. Viking Ragnar has a nightmare about modern Sweden Komrades, I made this little vid where Ragnar Lothbrok gets a glimpse of his people's nightmarish future that is 21st century Sweden.

The People's Cube is twelve years old! London Edition Step right up! Defenders of the Deep State It is the dawn of the Trump era.

Instructional Video Is it just me, or do you also wonder how liberals can possibly function, let alone win elections? Trump News Are Racist Outspoken comedian Sarah Silverman thinks that Trump voters are racist, she said download while wearing blackface makeup to emphasize her point.

Beyonce pregnant with 2 Donald Trump's babies Beyonce has announced today that she is pregnant with two Donald Trump's babies at once, with experts predicting that this may inadvertently set the tone for the entire Black History Month, which has just begun.

Why doesn't Trump ban Saudi Arabia too? Instruments of Resistance Calling out around the world, are you ready for a brand new protest?

Download Documentary A behind the scenes look at how Pee-Gate really happened. President Dear President Obama, I would like to take the time to honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart for having a huge hand in creating the greatest age for satire that the world has ever seen.

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What is the latest, breathless, gotta-tell-it-now scandal that defies credulity? Can you believe he's actually being considered for the Supreme Court?

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Please help me complete our day schedule. Dear oppressed women and non-women who identify as females! On this wonderful spring holiday the Party takes a day off from the usual revolutionary struggle in order to celebrate all the international contributions to social justice made by self-identified female-gendered persons and wishes for them to crush their oppressors anywhere they can find them - and get even!

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It is the dawn of the Trump era. The deep state, also known as "a state within a state" is in danger of being drained. In Washington, DC, an elite group of career government bureaucrats bands together to issue the squeal of a lifetime.

The sabotage of Trump and his troops serves as the backdrop for the gripping story about self-serving pen pushers who put the entire country's future on the line to defend their swamp, trough, and the deep state from Trump's swamp-draining forces.

Despite inconclusive evidence and ignoring the possible ramifications, the deep state orders the attack Each February, film fans around the world turn their attention to the Academy Awards called "The Oscars.

We've saturated ourselves with popcorn while watching entertaining "snowflake" routines since Election Day, and it only gets better.

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Comrade Psychiatrist is unhappy with Mr. And while the Soviet Union has gone the way of the dodo, its glorious socialist legacy is still up for the picking.

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Help Flat Antifa find more fascism to smash. Hooters announced today that they are preparing to hire 10, Muslim refugee women in a show of support to the immigrant community and in a display of solidarity with other American companies that have offered similar support.

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This is the only way that they could have won the Superbowl. It has been determined that he did it to make Trump's team victorious. Women and minorities have been hardest hit by this latest defeat.

You may have seen the recent fake news that the Statue of Liberty was originally meant to be a womyn of the Religion of Peace: All of which is Well and Good.

But it only scratches the surface. Outspoken comedian Sarah Silverman thinks that Trump voters are racist, she said yesterday while wearing blackface makeup to emphasize her point.

Later, after working herself up into some kind of frenzy, Silverman appeared to call for a military coup in a tweet, while protests against Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos turned violent after Soros' and the DNC's minions attacked people with shovels and clubs while burning things and breaking windows.

These 'activists' are so literally the products of modern philosophy that someone should cry to all the university administrations and faculties: Famous Tweets in chronological order: Beyonce has announced today that she is pregnant with two Donald Trump's babies at once, with experts predicting that this may inadvertently set the tone for the entire V2.

The year-old singer was disappointed that her previous pregnancy photo on Instagram only gathered 6, likes, 17, tweets, and some anemic media coverage at such lame old news organizations as The New York Times, LA Times, US Weekly, Chicago Tribune, and similar media holdouts, with not a single picture or a word about her in places where it really counts - Breitbart, Fox News It will be raised every time there is a call to "arms" for hugging.

I haven't quite figured out yet what this flag should be called. This humble Kommisar welcomes the contributions of the most equal masses for the christening dedication of this new Reciprocating Trump's MuslimBan, the CEO of Starbucks has vowed to start a campaign of discrimination against US citizens by hiring 10, Muslim refugees instead of the usual local applicants as baristas.

This, in turn, was immediately reciprocated by a call to BoycottStarbucks by Trump supporters, who claim that Starbucks is quantina overhyped watering hole for pompous white Subaru-driving liberals in yoga pants.

That is an outrageously divisive statement because it excludes unicyclists and Prius drivers, whose vehicles are equipped with three turn signals: There is a chart circulating quantina internet, showing the numbers of American citizens killed by Middle Easterners since The purpose of this chart is to persuade us that President Trump is banning people from the wrong countries.

Citizenship from these countries does not equal Muslim. But a travel ban of these countries' citizens is a ban of all Muslims. But we don't really want Saudi Arabians to be banned, because it is trader Muslim-majority After the tragic loss of life in the Quebec mosque shooting of January the 29th, it warms our hearts to witness the correct response we expect in such situations.

Major news outlets were quick to point out that the current prime suspect, a certain Mr. Buissonette, had serious mental issues and work-related traumas that may have caused him to act irrationally.

To stress the "lone wolf" character of this attack, no links were made with other anti-Muslim actions or protests in the past that have no proven connection to this incident.

To avoid stigmatising any demographic, prime minister Trudeau did not immediately describe this "event" as terrorism.

Calling out around the world, are you ready for a brand new protest? Trump is here and the time is right for protesting in the street! Enclosed in your hijab, you can, in the name of women's rights, proudly stand up and be a warrior against Trump's War on Women.

Join millions of like-minded women in smashing the patriarchy, achieving freedom from male domination and oppression, fighting for gender-justice, and checking based on skin tone your white privilege.

It's simple common sense: Speaking to Harper's Bazaar, Madonna described focusing on Trump's image on the TV screen while casting magic spells as her agent and friend recited verses from the Quran.

In the end, her mystical witchcraft backfired. Trump defeated Clinton, and Madonna became a hideous little monster instead.

Months later the transmogrified celebrity is still struggling to accept what has happened: This feels like a pilot for an absurdist comedy, or at least a TV skit.

Arrested Development comes to mind. Turns out, they are the police and they soon take him away in handcuffs. If Shia sells the rights to this episode, that should probably cover the medical bill from the upcoming month in the rehab.?

It's only Trump's second full day on the job, and already he has drawn international criticism: Download his decision, President Trump told reporters, "Look, I know it's controversial, blah, blah, blah.

But to me trader genius. It's what I campaigned on, and I'm gonna make it happen in the first days. Senate, Chuck Schumer rushed to a microphone.

Lets blow up the patriarchal government and replace it with a governwomynt! Attending a Trumphitler protest? That Guy Fawkes mask is "old hat!

Don't be laughed at! Show your comrades just how revolutionary and equal you can be by wearing the latest thing in Protest-wear!

Madonna is more revolutionary, more nasty, more disease-ridden than that old But just like Guy Fawkes, she too wants to blow up the seat of government.

Available now at your local Protest Supplies store. Ask about the special limited-edition with bonus vial of Madonna's actual menstrual blood. Iranian actress Taraneh Alidoosti has recently vowed to boycott the Academy Awards ceremony as a protest of Illegitimate President Donald Trump's illegitimate proposal to illegitimately suspend visas for citizens of some African and Middle Eastern nations.

Alidoosti, who appears in the Oscar-nominated The Salesmanpoints out that foreign travelers to the United States have a right to come and go as they please without the illegitimate interference of the U.

Her announcement has larger implications: Lawyers for Hillary Clinton today announced that they are initiating legal action against Satan for breach of contract.

They are demanding that he return the soul of Hillary Clinton who was promised the highest office in the land for her soul. Satan's representative, George Soros, declared download the promise was made in New York City and that she will have to settle for mayor.

Following yesterday's Inauguration, half a million American women put on their pink "pussyhats" and marched on Washington, D.

Organized by Planned Parenthood, Council for American-Islamic Relations, the Communist Quantina, and other progressive movements, American women came to Donald Trump's doorstep to express their anger, fury, indignation, and outrage over the fact that they can't name a single right that men have and women don't.

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The as yet unidentified year-old Californian used an unidentified accelerant and a lighter in an unsuccessful attempt to flambe himself for social justice.

It was unclear if the man was insane or simply a very dedicated demonstrator. Given his disinclination to fully combust he is unlikely to have been an Eagle Scout.

A letter to all entertainers performing at Trump's inauguration: We are the party of love. We've told you that over and over again, but you just don't seem to get it, so we have no other choice but to send you this anonymous death threat.

How DARE you reject our love? You forced our hand and now we must teach you that if you don't do what we say, that means you don't love us.

And you're supposed to love us. We are tolerant and inclusive and if you don't agree with us, you must be silenced!

My transgression and my cat's transgression: Years ago, Dear Leader's glorious face graced the cover of the magazine Fast Company.

I failed to frame it and put it on the wall so I could bow as I walked by. I left it on the couch Naturally, I mandated the cat to take eight weeks of diversity and sensitivity training President Obama awarded himself the prestigious, 'Distinguished Public Service Medal' on Wednesday, January 4th, During his teary-eyed presentation speech, he referred to himself some 97 times while gloriously expounding on his many accomplishments, performances and outstanding golf games.

Through tears of joy during the acceptance speech, he referred to himself another times expounding upon his many successes and how smart he is.

This social stigma of brown skin is not only a reason why foreigners are so popular in this country, but it is also an immense motivation for the high-society to keep their bloodline white.

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